New Discoveries

Did you happen to know
I'm not so pure as the driven snow.

Driven yes, but not by choice
Compulsions are the way I hoist.

Squandering gifts too precious for words

Falling from Grace, back with the masses and herds.

So why you keep playin’ that tune so sweet?

The one that makes me shiver and shake

Out from my hole like a hungry snake.

And how many times will you take my hand

So tenderly guide me through this land?

Will you forgive my ignorance and blunders yet again?

For now I see it is only You I will be in the end.

Silly questions to a Being so beyond and akin

But I must know for this new found devotion blazes within.

What to give you in return?

Only me, but first I must burn.

Why Bother?

I’ve recently been reminded of a curious time in my life.  A few of my friends and acquaintances are in the process of moving to III and are going through the same surreal experience that I once did. While I was very excited about the move it seemed people around me (meditators and non-meditators) were caught up with what pending sacrifices were looming on the horizon for me. Some were concerned about sleep deprivation and others about the loss of creature comforts.

My reaction upon hearing the comments of sacrifice brings a sense of sadness for the possibilities which may never see realization. It has become clear that for many people the possibility of living in this space may never become a reality simply due to false conclusions. If they have already made up their minds about what it is like to live here, will they ever attempt it? I don’t see how…and what a loss this will be.

I started to wonder why people come to sit with Sadhguru in the first place. Thousands of people will come to this “uncomfortable” place to be with him for a few hours. I know why they come...because his very presence is transformative, uplifting, blissful, and all encompassing. But why do people think that when he departs all of that goes with him? And why would the very space that he has tenderly created not be ripe of those same qualities?

Perhaps it is not fair to think that everyone should understand the magnitude of what is being created here. After all, I have been living here for almost 4 years and have reaped the benefits of those boundless qualities which are Sadhguru. I may have a ways to go toward realizing them fully but I most assuredly have benefited. But, one has to be willing to make small sacrifices to see what lies beyond. A few less hours of sleep every now and then has been nothing in comparison to what has been given to me. Doesn’t every great journey require some sacrifice?  Aren’t we making sacrifices in our lives all the time? Big and small sacrifices are made daily. Whether it’s for family or for comforts or saving for that new sweater and forgoing the yummy daily Starbucks coffee.  So why shouldn’t sacrifice be expected for one’s inner transformation? The crazy thing about this journey is that the sacrifices seem so small.

It is sad to me that people will never know how wonderful it is to be here. Yes, there is work to do but even the work becomes beautiful…which it never did for me “out there”. When the longing is strong enough or the trust is deep enough it carries you through whatever rough patches come along and you come to see the beauty and magnitude of what is being created.

In my opinion what is being created here is nothing less than a miracle. If people are looking for the fairytale kind of miracle which can be seen with the eye they won’t find it here. Personally, I will take becoming a more stable, peaceful and joyful human being over turning water into wine any day of the week!  

Yummy

Since the title of my blog is yoga cafe I thought I should post a recipe now and again. This one is a favorite among both volunteers and participants at any Isha Yoga program. It is also time for a shameless plug: you can purchase A Taste of Isha Cookbook through Isha Shoppe.

Carrot and Green Gram Salad
3 Tbsp Isha Seasoning (see description Below)
1 1/2 cups carrots grated
2 cups Green Gram sprouted
2/3 cup coconut grated
2 tsp salt
1 tsp black pepper
1-2 tbsp lemon/lime juice
1/4 bunch cilantro, finely chopped

Isha Seasonings:
3/4 cup cooking oil
2 Tbsp black mustard seeds
1/4 cup channa dhal
1/4 cup urad dhal
6 stems fresh curry leaves, chop leaves only

Heat oil to medium high heat then add black mustard seeds until seeds pop. Reduce heat to medium and add channa dhal until the color of the dhal chages from yellow to light brown. Then ad urad dhal and stir until the color of the dhal chages from white to light brown. Add fresh chopped curry leaves and remove from heat.

Combine all ingredients. Garnish with cilantro.

Enjoy

Serenity Now!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5513mXmQbw4

Do you ever feel like raising your arms over your head, clenching your fists and yelling -- SERENITY NOW! Just like Frank Costanza on Seinfeld? I do. I feel particularly compelled to imitate that wacky character when old habits or thought patterns creep into my daily life.

Someone with much more perception than myself recently said (paraphrasing)”you don’t even stop long enough to see what’s there. You may not need to hang on to your safety guards anymore but you will never know because you simply keep them going.”

This resonated deeply with me because I had been noticing this one habit which is hanging on for dear life and which I feel keeps me from living more fully. So…the experiment is on.  Perhaps I don’t need this pesty habit hangin’ around anymore. I’m going to give it a funeral and lay it to rest…R.I.P!

Maybe I’m fooling myself and getting rid of an old habit is much more difficult than I make it out to be. But, why not try? Plus, as of late I’m not all caught up in self-improvement as I once was so I’ll have more fun with this

experiment.  Thanks to Annadhi (three month silence program) and of course Sadhguru I don’t have the same desperate need to eradicate everything I don’t like about myself. At first this lack of desperation made me a bit confused but over time I’m beginning to take things more in stride. This may not sound like the right direction if one wants to move beyond limitations but according to Krishnamurthi, it’s dead on. In his book “As One Is” he says: “It is only when the sense of self- improvement completely ceases, but not by volition, that there is a possibility of something transcendental, something totally new coming into being”. Let’s see what happens…

Into the Abyss of Blogging

So…I’ve been very hesitant to start a blog. Why? Because there is vulnerability in exposing one’s opinions, interests, and thoughts with anyone bored enough to listen. I prefer to stay under the radar so to speak. But, the very idea of having a forum to share my life and ideas with others sounded too yummy to pass up. So here we are.

I’ve asked myself why anyone would take the time to visit my blog, read my ranting’s, and take an interest in my life. Besides everyone has a story to tell and many probably have a more interesting one at that. But, I am walking a unique path; one that some may find curious, odd, intriguing or a waste of time.  As of late, I’m finding it quite intriguing myself….

I’m a white middle aged married chic who lives at an Ashram.  Many things about that sentence are unique alone. First of all, Ashrams are more common and well known in Eastern countries like China and India. Secondly, they are usually inhabited by those that come from an Eastern culture. Because spiritual growth has traditionally been upheld as a respectable goal in the East it is very difficult for folks growing up in industrial nations to see the value of it. O.k…maybe they see the value of it but it’s not something you devote your whole life too. Plus I’m married which is a bit unusual for Ashram life considering Ashrams are thought of as only ascetic in nature. So here I am a white middle aged married chic living in an Ashram and swimming against the cultural current of mass production, mass consumption and traditional family life.

The funny thing is that I never really think about what others are doing with their lives. I’m mostly interested in my own internal journey and whether or not I am moving out of the limitations which keep me from inner freedom. But, I see that many folks are quite interested and befuddled as to why I would choose to walk this path.  For me the answer is one of simplicity: it’s working for my growth and I care for it. There is no big mystery to it or to living at an Ashram. I have my ups and downs and struggles like anybody else. The only difference is I live in an environment which is supportive of growing beyond the ups, downs and struggles at a rapid pace.

So the purpose of the blog is to share my experiences of walking the spiritual path not in hopes of convincing anyone to do the same but simply to share. After all, moving beyond this fear of vulnerability may be my biggest growth spurt yet!